Staying safe

Staying safe

Dating is worth doing and it carries risk, and the useful advice is specific rather than reassuring. These are the five things the UK’s dating industry body asks every service to tell people, and they are worth reading whether or not you ever use Just One A Day.

01

Get to know the person, not the profile

A profile is what somebody chose to show you. Ask questions, listen to the answers, and notice whether the answers stay consistent.

02

Stay in our messages until you have met

Somebody in a hurry to move you to another app, or to a phone number, before you have met is doing something that benefits them and not you.

03

Never send money

Not a loan, not a flight, not a customs fee, not a crisis. Never, to anybody you have not met, whatever the reason and however well you think you know them. See romance fraud and scams.

04

Tell somebody where you are going

A friend or a family member, before you go. It costs you one message and it is the single most useful thing on this page.

05

Stay in control

You never owe anybody a meeting, a second drink, a lift, or an explanation. Leaving early because you want to is a complete reason.

Meeting somebody for the first time

  • Somewhere public, and somewhere you know. A café or a bar you have been to before, at a time when other people are there.
  • Get yourself there and back. Your own transport, both ways, so that leaving is never something you have to negotiate.
  • Tell somebody where and when, and arrange to message them afterwards.
  • Keep your drink with you. If you leave it, buy another one.
  • Keep your address to yourself until you have decided you want to.
  • Leave whenever you want. You do not need a reason and you do not need to give one.

If something goes wrong while you are out, the police are the right people and 999 is the right number. Just One A Day is a website. It cannot help you in the next ten minutes and it will not pretend it can.

Afterwards

If somebody behaved badly, tell us — report someone. Doing that does not oblige you to do anything else, and it is how a pattern becomes visible.

If you were pressured into sending money, that is fraud and Report Fraud is who to tell.